When Things get Tough

I was talking with a friend the other day on the subject of relationships. Our most intimate relationships will have their ups and downs. If you are with someone for a long time you see the good, the bad, and the ugly whether you want to or not. In the tough times we were discussing what a person could do. Some people get help outside the relationship like advice from a friend or therapist, some choose to go within and seek clarity through journaling or meditation, others play the situation over and over again and analyze it to the point it haunts their thoughts and creates more negativity in the relationship. Do not be the latter. Definitely choose to do something more positive. If two people come with toxic energy the relationship won’t survive. One of them must stay positive and strong. How do you do that?

Well, knowing your own boundaries and creating space for self-care is important. If the other person is angry, freaking out or having some type of manic episode and is not willing to have you help them..Leave! Get out of there and go take care of yourself. Now by taking care of yourself I am not saying contemplate the situation and discuss with your self what happened and what you could have done better or what the other person could have done better. No, I am saying do not focus on the situation at all. Do something to feed your spirit.. Take a walk in nature, read something uplifting or a good fiction book, go to a coffee shop, go to an art museum, go create something you enjoy making. Anything that lifts your spirit.

When you focus on making your spirit happy, you can bring your best self to the relationship when that person has calmed down. Another thing you can do if you can’t get that person out of your head is you can write the good things about them and share at a time when they are calm and receptive. If that happens to be a struggle then you may want to figure out if this person nourishes your life or is hindering you from growth. Note: Most people won’t hinder your growth if you take time to work on yourself. You can be in a relationship with someone who may have emotional issues that you do not possess and still grow in the relationship, especially if they are willing to hear what you have to say and accept it. If they don’t, then its possible the relationship may not nourish either one of you. At that time taking time for your self is essential so you can seek clarity on what is right for you.

The whole point of this article is that relationships can be difficult at times but if we spend time nourishing ourselves, we can be present in the relationship and bring peace with us. A peaceful partner is a very nourishing part of a relationship even if that peace switches between the two people in difficult times. The willingness to bring peace in the relationship is what helps it grow.

So remember to take time out for yourself! It will bring you, the relationship, and the other person calmness at a time when it is needed.

Blissings to you,

Jessica